The Lord never ceases to amaze me regarding all that He plans and orchestrates in our lives. Saturday morning began like any other Saturday morning. We got up, had breakfast, and sat and talked about the plans for the day. Tom intended to go to Lowes to find a new front door. The jam had begun to fall apart and it was time to replace it. I had a wedding that afternoon and needed to be at the church before 11. The kids were checking for eggs and meandering about waiting till they could 'play with Dad'. I left for church a little before 10:30 and joined the wedding staff in preparing for the coming nuptials. At 12:30 I received a call from someone at the fire department asking for my address. (I guess they don't bother explaining things before they ask since people tend to freak out when they announce that your house is on fire) After dancing around not giving him my address - I thought he was from the fire men's ____ fund asking for donations, the gentleman finally stated that he was on our street and our house had caught fire....could I please come home since no one is home? Sure, why not...but what about the wedding that I was coordinating? I called our lovely new coordinator and evidently didn't leave a very clear message - humorously it sounded something like "Hi, can you pick up if you're there. I have to go home because the fire department just called and the house caught fire. The sound technician is here and everything is set, so if you could get here sooner than later that would be good. Call me on my cell. Bye" And here I thought that I was composed and calm - giving the air of assurance that all coordinators need when something happens badly during a wedding.
Driving home took the same amount of time it always does - I think. I can't really remember much of the drive - I was just questioning what could have started it - did I leave my iron on in the bathroom before I left? And praying that God would give me the strength and grace to hold myself together when I saw the damage and needed to talk with firemen in the midst of not really wanting to talk with anyone. I arrived to a street lined with cars - evidently claims companies follow the firemen to 'tragic' scenes to get business - firemen refer to them as the vultures....and they were that. There were three engines parked in the street, water and hoses across the street, and the neighbors huddled together on our driveway. I remember meeting the battalion chief and a few others but not much other than lots of questions I needed to answer and reminding myself that it is all just stuff. ...I learned that humor in situations is fine unless it happens to be your situation and then they don't really look favorably at it. That is the only way I know how to keep myself from falling apart is to find the humor and joke a bit. The firemen continued to say 'wow, you're taking this really well.' Yeah, well what else are you supposed to do?
After they all left the house, then I fell apart. Tom & I have been impressing for years to the kids that you need to hold your stuff loosely and think of it as God's stuff he is allowing you to use. Reminding them that when we prize our items more than our character, our hearts, and serving others that is when He may choose to take it from you. I thought that I had this under control, but with this fire came the realization that I haven't really held as loosely to my 'stuff' as I had thought. I am reminded that God refines us and evidently He feels the need to do that with me with real fire. God gives us our joy in our knowledge of Him and our worship of Him. I am thankful that He gave me the strength to hold myself together when I needed it - I thought I was level headed. I know that God's hand is in even this event. I don't know what He has planned but I know that He is in control and I can and have been resting in that knowledge.
With regards to what burned. The family room - aka school room, aka storage room, aka Celena's precious bedroom is gone. There was damage to the kitchen and dining room as well. Everything in the house reeks of smoke and we will know more about the extent as the week progresses. We don't know the cause of the fire - though one of the firemen said that it appeared to have started in the far corner next to the fireplace (which was where the tv and other electronics were). The investigation is underway, so we should know more later. We ask for prayer that the investigation goes smoothly and they can find the reason. Since no one was home the fire is considered suspect. We know that God is in control of even this aspect of our lives and He knows the reason as well as the outcome. Remembering to rest in that is something that I have to call to mind frequently. Not knowing what happened is not easy for me - I like answers to questions so that I can solve the problem...evidently this is another area I need refinement in....
As to our needs - God is the one who knows them. Right now I can't think of anything and head still feels like it is in a bit of a cloud. I am so thankful that I have a husband who can compartmentalize to get things done. I know the hardest part will be the heap of burned wreckage we must go through and itemize with the claims department. They have warned us that it will probably be 4-5 days to finish doing all of that. I guess another prayer would be the energy to do that - and the ability to find the humor in the pile.
We have taken lots of pictures - something I know many will want to see. Since the energy to even look through them isn't even there it may be awhile before I even think about posting them. I was explaining to Shannon that going home is like going into some one's house that has died but you don't really know them, nor think you should even be there. The house doesn't seem like home anymore (recalling that Heaven is our home is another focus).
The knowledge of the Word and the promise of God are what we rest on. It is indeed true that when refinement comes you draw on the verses that you have studied and you lean on those promises that He is so very very faithful to us.
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